decompression and the absentee blogger

source not worth mentioning

My blogging absence has been both intentional and unintentional. When I first started this blog, my purpose was to have a place where I could document my favorite things from design to designers to food to music (hidden message: create an audience!). It was fun. But I got exhausted, and I ran out of things to say. And I felt like I was blogging for the sake of blogging. And blogging out of competition. Which is just wrong. And a little vain. Lot.

Why don't I write about my family? Simply, this is not a family blog. While they are my most favorite thing, they were not my inspiration behind BPP. I keep them near and dear to my heart through living life with them, and in photos and memory books and tangible objects that I can touch, see, smell. I also document my life with them through the more traditional sense of not keeping a journal. I'm not a private person at all; if you looked at my personal facebook page (private) or my Instagram account (also private), you would realize that truth (fallacy). I'm not afraid for the world to see photos of my kids and I don't live in fear of them being stalked. But once I introduce them to you, where does it stop? Pretty soon I'm posting photos of what they wear, how I did (or didn't do) their hair, what their under-furnished bedrooms look like, and the next thing I know, I'm trying to outcompete myself because I feel a need to put on my best performance for you. And that would be a lie. My life is simple and incomplete, and I don't need to keep up with other blogs to keep your attention, especially as it concerns my family. And besides, their names are ridiculously hard to pronounce, so there would be that issue too. And at the very bottom of it all, I'm not strong enough to withstand your judgment, and that is the most honest answer of them all.

The allure of blogs is interesting. We are in a golden age of voyeurism. Blame it on reality TV if you like, but we are entranced with knowing each others' business. Why? Because it's fun! We love it when others are relateable. We also love it when their lives are out-of-this world ridiculous. I'm guilty of blog-envy. Sure, I would love to live abroad and travel to faraway destinations and be interviewed on other blogs and have sponsorships from Federated Media and be a guest speaker at blog conferences—but why? So that I can be envied by other bloggers? So that I can be loved and adored? I already have love and adoration in my own home. Maybe undeservedly, too. 

I don't need more, I need less. I need to decompress, prioritize. I would also disappoint you if I told you that I actually read other people's blogs. From time-to-time, I navigate my way to a particular blog to see a specific project, or see what a best friend has been up to, but I mainly look at the photos and click away in a matter of seconds. I'm illiterate (fallacy). I'm easily bored. I love magazines, but I don't read them. I'm visually stimulated. I love turning pages, gawking at ads, and escaping into an other-worldly bliss. So for those of you who have given me your undivided attention and actually read what I've had to say, I'm not worthy. And thank you! But if, like me, my words bore you to tears, then please connect with me on Pinterest where I get all the visual stimulation I need (and use to inspire my personal design projects) without having to spend hours on blogs finding it. It's no secret: I'm not a gifted pinner. I'm a gifted re-pinner. I'm not a trend-setter, just a trend-follower. And I'm completely satisfied as thus. Oh—I dislike verbiage under pins, so forgive me for uncrediting photographers, designers, artists and all sources in general. I just figure you're smart enough to click on the pin to find the source. The words just get in the way of the visual consistency.

I will continue to blog about my favorite things, namely, design and designers and food and music, but I'm going to do it judiciously. It's not because I'm strapped for time, it's about being authentically inspired. The last thing I want to perpetuate is the stereotype of the hip mommy blogger, because I'm basic and normal and not that interesting and wear sweats far too often. And I'm not especially interested in airing my dirty laundry, either. I want this to be a cheerful place where maybe you can be turned onto a great idea or two, but don't expect me to come up with any crafts on my own. That's not me. I'd rather do your crafts.

Phew. Glad I got that off my chest. I feel free, motivated. Just don't expect consistency, cause that's asking a lot from a girl with ADHD.

xoxo,

Gossip Girl Rachel

the attached vs. the detached mother

It's been almost a year since I've become a stay-at-home mom. It's been a great year, and an excruciating one. I'm going to divulge some unpretty things about myself. While moms should never be classified or forced into a "type," that's exactly what I'm going to do right now: The attached mom versus the detached mom.

The attached mom has a strong grip on the doings of her family. She is the heartbeat of the home, a true engineer of time and space. She runs on a schedule and has her family adhering to it like clockwork. She wears makeup, even when she has no intention of leaving the house. She thrives off of order and cleanliness. Dare I say, she gets high off a clean house? She champions mealtime, providing meals at set times where all sit at the dinner table and cannot leave until excused. She's involved in her kids' lives, scheduling time to work with them on homework and other extracurricular activities. Bath time and bedtime are absolutes, and she will always step away from her social life to get her kids home and into bed on time. And somewhere in that busy day, she still has time to do her grocery shopping (with kids in tow), dentist appointments, and get to yoga class. She has a new family photo taken every year. Her blog is up to date. She is the master of time management. She says NO (gasp!) to volunteering when it doesn't fit her family's schedule. Her kids are annoying overachievers.

The detached mom is loosely involved in the dealings of her family. She attempts to create a schedule, but whatever. Her kids are used to waking up before she does, helping themselves to cookies and hot dogs for breakfast. When she rolls out of bed, she turns a blind eye to the chaos of the family room which is riddled with forts and LEGOS and library books. Shower today? Maybe. She checks her email and her facebook and gets sucked into reading a couple blogs or two, after a round of pinning. When she realizes what time it suddenly is, she jumps up in a panic and gets the kids into a frenzied bath and out the door to the library, followed by a prolonged lunch at a fast-food joint. While library-ing and lunching, she frequently responds to texts and facebook while her kids are running willy-nilly all over the place. When she realizes how late in the day it is, she rushes the kids back into the car, which has Cheezits ground into the carpet, and tanks back home. In a frenzy, she pulls out chicken to thaw and becomes exasperated by the mess surrounding her. Delegating to the kids is too much emotional drama (they fight her tooth and nail), so she sends them all down to the basement while she turns up iTunes and scrubs the kitchen like nobody's business. Taking frequent breaks to check on messages and facebook, she somehow manages to get dinner on the table sometime around sevenish and decides the dishes can wait until tomorrow morning. Homework with the kids is done under tense pressure. Right now all she wants to do is have her kids snuggle with her in her bedroom, where they all crash out, one by one. She's too self-absorbed to realize that she's the master of breeding chaos. Oh darn! She forgot to exercise—again. And as she responds to emails before she sleeps (on her phone, no less), she has volunteered herself for several school and church-related activities. She's out of control.

I'm a detached mom. I breed chaos. People tell me things like, "you're so creative, you're such a fun mom." Yeah. And it comes at a price. I'm sure this is NOT what Joseph Schumpeter had in mind when he coined the phrase "creative destruction," but it seems to describe me so well. I can plan and execute an event like nobody's business, but I can't fold the laundry to save my life. It doesn't help when I read books like this where I learn that moms sincerely do love cleaning and organizing and have a seasonal wardrobe from Anthropologie. Depression and self-loathing come easier for me than order and motivation. I TRULY want to be an attached mom. The majority of my close friends are attached. I gravitate to them for obvious reasons.

Which category are you more prone to? Or are you a hybrid?

edenbrooke cast, part two

You didn't think I would forget about the rest of the supporting cast, did you?

1) Juno Temple as Betsy  2) Connie Nielsen as Mrs. Daventry  3) Lesley Nicol as Aunt Amelia  4) Helen McCrory as Mrs. Fairhurst  5) Jason Isaacs as Mr. Clumpett  6) Alex Kingston as Mrs. Clumpett

Who would you cast? Remember to go to my facebook page and leave a comment by Saturday, March 17th to win one of two Advanced Reader's Copies of Edenbrooke!

edenbrooke giveaway

The time has come...I have two Advanced Reader's Copies of Edenbrooke that I'm excited to give away! But first, a little musing on my part. Like all books that I read, I play them out like movies in my head. Here's my cast for the players in this Regency romance:

1) Helen Mirren as Grandmother  2) Jonny Lee Miller as Phillip Wyndham  3) Timothy Spall as Mr. Whittles  4) Emma Watson as Marianne Daventry  5) Zoe Boyle as Cecily Daventry  6) Olivia Williams as Lady Caroline  7) Charlie Hunnam as Mr. Beaufort  8) Tom Hardy as William Wyndham  9) Kate Beckinsale as Rachel Wyndham  10) Carey Mulligan as Grace Fairhurst  11) Alessandro Nivola as Mr. Kellet  12) Rooney Mara as Louisa Wyndham  13) Julian Sands as Mr. Daventry

Easy on the eyes, aren't they?

I enjoyed Julie's book so much that I had a hard time putting it down. My favorite part was this precarious moment shared between Marianne and Phillip in the library:

I felt trapped in his gaze. I was suddenly overcome with the sensation that if I looked deeply enough into Phillip's eyes I would find a beautiful, important secret. I drew in a breath, and as I did I leaned closer. The sensation grew stronger, convincing me that it was only the distance between us that was keeping me from uncovering the truth. If I leaned toward him, something would happen. I was sure of it. But if I leaned away, nothing would happen. So I stayed perfectly still, balanced between something and nothing, not knowing which way I wanted to fall.

Not since Lucy and George from A Room With a View have I been so anxious for a couple to fall in love! I know you will enjoy this novel as much as I did.

To win one of the two ARCs of Edenbrooke, like my facebook page and leave a comment there by Saturday, March 17th. Two winners will be chosen at random and notified next Monday, March 19th, 2012. Good luck!

“spreen” cleaning

Something strange has happened to me. It could be that the days are getting longer. It could be the sixty-degree days between blizzards. It could be the book I'm reading. It could be that delicious bottle of basil dish soap I'm using. I'm nesting, an instinct not indigenous to me. This newfound desire is something awesome and has preoccupied me for a couple weeks. I've also become a little obsessed with ridding my house of toxic chemicals and using simple, green solutions instead. What can I say? I'm a late bloomer. For this reason I'm going to refocus my month from just spring cleaning to green cleaning; spreen cleaning.

Pinterest has steered me toward several great green cleaning websites; if you are interested in making your own cleaning solutions with products from your pantry, go here and here.

Here's a recipe to try on for size:

Homemade Soap Residue Remover

• 1 cup distilled white vinegar
• 1 cup concentrated dish soap

Pour dish soap into an empty spray bottle. Meanwhile, heat vinegar in microwave for two minutes. Carefully pour heated vinegar into spray bottle over dish soap; tighten lid and give a vigorous shake until well mixed. Spray solution onto bath and shower surface and let sit for one hour. When done, spray down with water until mixture and residue are gone. You shouldn't have to use a cloth to wipe down unless you've applied your solution higher than the showerstream can reach. This worked great on the tub, tile, window and showercurtain* in our shower. For tough ring around the tub, spray more of the vinegar-soap solution on the affected area and let sit for a couple minutes. Sprinkle some baking soda on a sponge and gently scrub away. Rinse with water and voila!

*Did you know you can throw your shower liner into the washer to remove residue and hard water stains? Works like a charm.